apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
