i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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