He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
