just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
