oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
