broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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