the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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