CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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