I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm passing your future prison.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you never un-have a 4some
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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