I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
how drunk are you?
Several
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
why is half of my head shaved?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
