Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
