There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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