so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
