my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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