why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
