that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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