So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
