He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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