I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
