Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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