You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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