But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
