Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
