I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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