I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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