I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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