Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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