Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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