I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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