During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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