Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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