I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
high people should be assigned attendants
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
