Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
