There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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