Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
as a side note pls kill me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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