i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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