oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she told me i tasted like america
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
