YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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