omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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