whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
