try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
