I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
