i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
