giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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