I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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