i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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