I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
