I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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