Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
