I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
