ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
