the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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