I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want her autograph on my taint
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
