guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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