you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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