she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
