I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
