Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
