For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have fence marks all over my body
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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