She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
