I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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