Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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