i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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