whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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