I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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