It's Friday. Sex?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
