im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize