fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
